Hello. It’s been a while. This week I’m reflecting on the past month, for though Friday has come and gone several times without a post (whoops!), a lot of my attention has been consumed by food. I wrote about prioritising a couple of months ago, and how after watching ‘A Quest for Meaning’ Johann and I felt that we wanted to start buying food with a better impact on people and the earth. To stop shifting the true cost of cheap food onto others. Well, here is a recap of how we are getting on. But first…
Why? Who cares what I’m eating? Says the devil on my shoulder, and perhaps a few readers. Well, yes. The likes and comments on a plethora of Instagram accounts snapping what people eat everyday indicates that some people are interested in what other people eat. I like a photogenic multicoloured bowl of fruit as much as the next sucker, but I also appreciate it when I see someone saying ‘bloody knackered got a takeaway eating it in bed’. I want beauty. I also want ugly. I don’t want to consume only perfection that makes me feel inferior about my own food. So here goes, I am trying to be honest about what’s gone wrong. On my little platform, I’d like to talk about food in a way which does not make the perfect the enemy of the good. Another phrase I learned in my permaculture course.
We started by choosing organic tinned tomatoes. Three times the price of the basic, but not expensive in the scheme of things – it is rather that the basic brand are extremely cheap. So begins a shift in valuing. To our delight the organic ones tasted better. I believe they do actually taste better, but I also suspect my clearer conscience adds to the experience and makes me experience their taste differently. I’m reading a really great book called The Food Lab: better home cooking through science. The author conducted a taste experiment comparing supermarket eggs with farm fresh ones. First time round, everyone preferred the darker orange yolked eggs to the paler yellow supermarket ones. Then a blindfolded test – and no difference could be found. So our perception of provenance colours how we taste – I reckon that the knowing I’m buying something better for the environment makes me rate their flavour higher. But I digress.
We still buy organic tomatoes, and coconut milk and beans and chickpeas, though if the shop doesn’t have any I’ll still get the basic brand rather than not eat any at all (confession of non-perfection no. 1). We had loftier ideals for the kidney beans and chickpeas though. The day before my birthday in May, we bought dried and excitedly soaked them overnight. Then Jóhann had to work late, and I was taken out for a drive by his mum, we all got in at ten pm and cooking beans for an hour was off the agenda. We bought a ready cooked chicken from the supermarket and ate that instead. Strike one.
Similar strikes occurred every time we tried soaking. Working late, or coming home and forgetting to start the beans two hours before dinner time, or going out instead for some event- an unspoken decision has been taken that our lifestyle is at odds with even the tiny amount of planning needed to use dried beans. We ended up throwing away rancid soaked beans too often (no longer do I think it’s impossible to soak for too long). So, back to buying tins.
For around a month now we have stopped eating meat, though we’re still eating fish maybe once or twice a week. I want to eat in a way which protects people and planet, and for a while I’ve had doubts about the sustainability of eating meat. But I’ve not acted. I think I might be putting off properly researching the facts of meat-eating, vegetarianism, and vegabism; perhaps because of a fear that I would then have to make severe changes to my diet. I have been choosing to live in ignorance. I don’t really believe I need to eat bacon to survive, nor have the right to, but I was pushing those feelings down and thinking, it’s tasty.
What’s changed now? I’ve decided that I will not wait any longer without acting. While I am thinking and learning about the best way to be a consumer, I will be vegetarian. In doing so I’m listening to my gut feeling. I have been making the perfect the enemy of the good, in avoiding the question of whether it’s ethical to eat any animal product: still eating burgers and worrying about how hard it might be to be vegan! Ridiculous! So, taking the pressure off making a big decision has led to a positive change, an end to buying cheap, low welfare meat. I am a bit wary to write about this stuff because part of me feels it’s not good enough, what I am doing, but I am here to share a process, not a solution. Perhaps in a year I will have found some really good answers, but the moment I am full of questions.
Walking round the supermarket- before I’m even in the door even! I’m thinking ‘is it right to shop here? What about supporting independent produce shops? Should I buy this packaged avocado (no, I probably shouldn’t, but I really want guacamole…) Which of these six brands of tinned tomato would pay the producer the most? How was it transported here?’ We’re talking rabbit in the headlights, stunned by the weight of not knowing, in the aisles. How can something so simple as ‘what shall we have for dinner?’ splinter into such an infinitely complex and seemingly unknowable conundrum? I start to look up promotional material from the vegan side and the meat side. I’m pretty convinced by some arguments then I find the opposition thoroughly debunks them, and then back and forth, and so on.
With this in the background, I turn to small changes. What can I change that I am reasonably sure is better than what I currently do? Not the best, perhaps, but an improvement. Organic tomatoes. Ones without pesticides. Okay. Organic tomatoes it is.
I’d like to thank anyone who’s read all this, and challenge you to choose one thing. One small thing. And change it for the better. If anyone does it, please let me know. Have a great weekend!